The past few days/weeks; I was unsure of what to blog about. I mean I was stumped. The whole time I couldn't stop thinking about it. About how much I needed to love myself.
Then I thought about how I've been feeling about myself. How I'd been looking for love in all of the wrong places. For years at that. And most recently why I was doing it.
It started when I was a young girl. I remember at one time I had to wear hand me downs. From other people being as though I'd grown up an only child.
I remember being alone a lot. When guys did pay me any attention; I ate that shit up(please excuse the language). Most of the time they were older men(let's say up to five years)
Now mind you ,I’ve only been in two long-term relationship,and two half ass relationships( again excuse my language). The two relationships was seven or more years long. The other two I was in the relationship but they weren’t. If that makes since?
Within the two half ass relationships(excuse my language). One of the guys had a baby while we were together. And the other every time I turned around there was another girlfriend popping up.
Throughout the four of those relationships; I feel like I took the crap they was handing me,because I didn’t love me enough.
The last few years I refrained from being in a relationship. Refusing to be someone's side chick. I refused settle for less than what I feel like I deserve.
Throughout everything it was I was going through(being taken out of work, my health issues,and living from house to house); Settling wasn't/isn't and option.
Even with me being without out settling still was/is not an option.
I love me. I love me more than I think I ever have before. So,the next relationship I get in; They must love me just as much. And aside from working and the individual must do the same. Love me more than I love myself!
I said all of that to say; Even if it takes the rest of your life take time to love yourself more. Appreciate you and all of the things that come with you. And most importantly make sure the individual you're with does the same.
