We Finally Got A Place

  I wanted to share this with you all. Since I've Been MIA mainly due to my depression. There has also been a ton of doctor appointments,  Ms physical therapy, as well as therapy appointments in-between there as well. I think you guys deserve to know that I wasn't not doing anything at all. I never gave up on trying to find a place of my own. Being that throughout everything that I've had going on; Since I've started my blogging journey mainly started because of my health not being able to work, not having an income, nor a place of my own.

Keep Pushing Forward

 It may seem hard. Keep on pushing. Speak to someone if you need to get through it. As I Type This I have and have had multiple things going on. And I've spoken to a few people to help me get by. Just know If I can do I you can too!

Trust me It's is not easy but we can do this!

Try To be Better at Understanding a Person with a Disability

  It's hard enough for the individual with a disability already. So, for them to try to explain things to you ; and you to brush them off and act as though you don't care is heartbreaking.

  Please don't tell them what someone else is going through. Nor what it is they are doing. I'm sure they wish they could be in that person's position. Or something close to it.

 I'm typing this because I've tried different groups online years ago. and I didn't like how it was going. And per my therapist, I tried again. Upon doing so I realized that just like we could go in and get support, our friends and family members can too, and in some cases should.

  To get a better understanding of what it is our diagnosis entails. And I don't mean just for multiple sclerosis. There are different types of groups out there for everything.

 You just have to research and find the right ones. And I urge you guys to do so to get a better understanding of what it is your friends and family members are going through.

Some Doctors Really Don't Listen

 For the past few months, I've been complaining about pain. And I have not been able to see any of my regular doctors. Only after making a complaint was I able to have them get in direct contact with my neurologists.

  And he's a little bit older now. So, I think I may have to start looking into getting a new one. Being that all of the last few appointments he's only been consulting via phone.

 My primary doctor hasn't been in at all. And they've had another doctor stand-in. And I automatically didn't like his vibes. Being that I could tell he hadn't even looked into my files. 

  Offering me some meds without even taking into consideration that I have a therapist. And has offered me psych meds several times. Like, don't you think of have maybe been prescribed them by her if I’d needed them already?

 Then I've been describing my pain to him over time and he's been kind of overlooking it. 

  Now I know I have never allergies to certain things. As a doctor, if he's unsure about what to prescribe me; shouldn't he be trying to refer me to someone else? Instead of telling me he couldn't because my Neurologist had given me something else. but had only given me enough to last to my last appointment.

An appointment that the messed up and had to reschedule. A month out mind you. Only to tell me to make an appointment with him for him to still ignore my issue.

 And then give me a referral to pain management after me emailing them about their incompetence. Which still resulted in me not getting in pain medication.

 At this point, I see why some people's health goes down the drain. And it a very scary site! 

 Have you experienced this? What do you recommend? Do you find doctors by word of mouth or your own research? 

  I really need help with this. Please leave your thoughts in the comment section. And also don't forget to follow me!

Re-edit /Surviving Multiple Sclerosis with Mzlittlejohn

How can people expect for you to open up to them about your feelings? When you speak to most people about them, they just start telling you about theirs, or what you should be doing. Most times it’s after you’ve exhausted almost all of your options. What I've been doing lately is writing about them.

If people take the time out to read my writings, they’d understand them better. With the things I have been going through ;although I feel it’s embarrassing, and people are looking at me differently ;this just works better.

I am at the point in my life where I can care less about how people feel. It's initially not for them, it's for me. And it actually helps me get it out. No interruptions, or hearing other peoples thoughts, or what they would do. 

I have to deal with the people telling me no. I have to deal with being sent to different programs. I have to deal with my children no longer having stability ;as well as not having an income, staying with other people, and not knowing if tomorrow will be the day that I’m told I have to leave.

Or having a conversation and seeing something that triggers my tears. Yes, I have those days. Days that I’d just rather be alone with my thoughts. Of Course there is some when I don’t need to be alone.

A lot of times that is my only option. Because right now I am not at liberty to have that option.

One day I’ll get back to not having to result to this. And maybe have conversations with someone who understands.

As of right now, it cannot be done. Especially if when have moments where I have to bite my tongue. Or end up with the conversation being about them or someone else and not me.

As of right now, the conversation's about my feelings. Lets just stick to it being written, typed, and maybe in one of my latest YouTube videos. Heck at the moment, it’s here. And will probably end up back here again.

Because trying to obtain followers on my YouTube page at the moment isn’t getting far. I’m not funny, refuse to do crazy stuff, and just have not quite found my niche with that.

At the moment, there aren't that many videos on there. Currently I’m at a stand still when it comes to what I’d like to talk about. The video I posted before the last was on trying to obtain voice over work. Can you believe they want you to pay upfront to find work? I mean if I had money, I wouldn't t be trying to pay them for work.

I wonder if I pay them, does it guarantee me jobs? Or leads or whatever they consider it? I’m afraid it’ll be a waste of time anyway.

I am not in no way saying that I am no longer interested. In fact I’m still trying to get around having to pay. I’m broke, can you blame me?

If you've gotten this far thank you. I’d say thanks for reading  this far. You're reading this piece written be me. And it is much appreciated. Since this seems to be the best way for me to get my feelings out; there will be more eventually. How often? That is what I’m not to sure about.

Check out my my YouTube page as. The links should be available here( on the left of the web version of this site. 

Please don't hesitate to comment. And follow this blog (again on the left of the web version of this page).

Still Working On Me ;While Trying To Help Other People Rebuild Their conf...

What We Learn When School Can’t Stop | Nora Flanagan | TEDxWrigleyville

I Believe this should be the case for everywhere!Praying that people are paying attention and making improvements along the way.

I’m Learning more On My Own

Afraid To Speak Up

   My doctor asked me what was going on with my health the other day.

 I spoke about the regular stuff Like the tingling, numbness, migraines,and even almost falling. yet, when it came to stuff that he almost new I was going through, I started crying. 

  

After all of these years I'm embarrassed.  Embarrassed to explain things that they knew i'd start experiencing. I'm not sure if it's because of the fact that I'm going through it;or because of me being so young and going through it, either way it bothered me.

 

  Which was yet another breakdown I've had in that doctors office in like a two months time period. I'm sure they're tired of me already.

  With that being said I forgot to tell my therapist about that. When I was trying to rush her off of the phone the other day.

 I haven't updated on here in a while because I'm kind of stressed out. I still don't have any finances.Got denied from disability once again and I am so confused about what to do. 

  Blogging has been the last thing on my mind.On top of The spasm getting in the way at times too. Please keep me in your prayers. And also if you'd like to help me out in any way;The links for cashapp and paypal are available on the regular web(i'm not sure about the mobile ).I'll Look into it another time.

 

Please have a blessed day!  

Getting Closer to the Were I Need to Be

Hello Hello Hello!

  

    It’s been a little while since I’ve typed up a blog. 

When this Covid19 came about, I started having real bad anxiety, which cut into my creativity. Which I know I shouldn’t have allowed; but it happen, and I’m working through it.

   

 I’ve been thinking long and hard about what it was I wanted to come back with.  And thanks to a very good friend of mind I figured it out. 

  And I’d like to first say thank you to him. Yes, him and no he’s not a boyfriend and has never been one. Let me start by clarifying that first. We grew up together and he’s actually one of the few people I can really consider a friend/ family!

 Anyway I’ve applied for disability in October of 2018. I got denied. Then had a reconsideration and got denied for that. And I was finally able to get a hearing. 

 

 Mind you up until a few months ago I had no income. And I’m living off of $219 + food stamps(don’t ask how I’ve been doing it I’m still not sure). If it wasn’t for my family and a few friends(Thank you guys again!)I don’t know how I’d be getting by. I truly thank the man above for them!

 I believe the hearing went well. Although there were moments that I was a little skeptical. I’m hopeful that it’ll turn out for the best. 

 Now I have 30 days to get them paperwork from my therapist. And I pray the final decision won’t take that long after.

  Yes, I see a therapist. I’ve been seeing her for a few months now and she’s the bomb!  I’m not sure I’d have been able to get past these anxiety attacks without her.

  With that being said keep me in your prayers. As I am doing the same for you all!  Hopefully I’ll be back sooner with more content. And thanks again my friend for the push. I appreciate it!