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Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 8, 2021

We Finally Got A Place

  I wanted to share this with you all. Since I've Been MIA mainly due to my depression. There has also been a ton of doctor appointments,  Ms physical therapy, as well as therapy appointments in-between there as well. I think you guys deserve to know that I wasn't not doing anything at all. I never gave up on trying to find a place of my own. Being that throughout everything that I've had going on; Since I've started my blogging journey mainly started because of my health not being able to work, not having an income, nor a place of my own.

Friday, August 21, 2020


I hate being reminded of things. Recently I've lost primary custody of my youngest son, due to the issue I have going on, like me being hospitalized, losing my job, and awaiting a response from social security.
I'm really hurt about his father being greedy for money and taking me back to court. Especially being that he's made it seem as though our child was in danger, when he went to school every day, doctors appointments were scheduled an attended, he had new/clean clothes on every day. Yes, that was without me having an income or a car.
I can admit us living house to house was not ideal. But he was in no way shape or form in any type of harm. I love all of my children with everything in me. And most times I would go without to make sure they had. He knew that.
Although it did nott matter to him because his only concern was to get assistance from the state of Connecticut. What kind of man actually makes it his business to try and defraud the state when he actually works? And makes really good money doing so. Yes, this has been reported several times to several different departments. The response was they couldn't do anything because he had his own business and couldn't really track his income (interesting, right?
With all of this going on I chose to sit back and ponder my thoughts, rather than open up and speak about them. Being that its easier for me to deal with them that way. Yes, it bothers me that I only see him every other weekend. And that when I do have him, we have to walk on pins and needles (don't want to get into that part), just to not ruffle any feathers.
It's just so much easier for me to handle it that way. When it's brought up, I'm brought to tears. I've cried more than enough tears and would rather avoid them. I hope everyone could understand that!
I'm not trying to be harsh or trying to stop you from feeling a certain way about how I should feel. But me crying and lashing out isn't going to get me far at all. It all stalls the process I have to take a bit more. Stops me from taking the time to send emails to get help, applying for programs that'll help us, or even writing to attempt to try and make some type of living.
Trying to find a job with no experience and really messed up heath issue just isn't working for me. The reminders of things I could be doing would be doing, and right now just can't do is hurting my situation more. It's not you it really is me. I forgive you for bringing it up. I just hope you can do the same for me. Even if you don't understand or care. Just please take a moment and try to keep that in mind.
I just rather not be reminded.
Please take a moment to share this if you've read it. And maybe even comment and follow if you like. I'm trying to get better at this. Thanks, have a good day!

Thursday, July 11, 2019

Just about everyone as a problem/problems

    Yes, everyone has problems. Some may be similar but they aren't always the same. The paths we're on are always different. Either way please know you are not alone!
   Like mine for instance I have been living from house to house. Applying  for housing when I can. Since my health declined, I've stayed in three different homes, that's including were I currently am.

   I can and am applying for part time work. My circumstances continue to get in the way of that. Me not having a vehicle. And currently only being able to try and pick up 20 hours of work. Being that I'm still waiting for disability. And let me not forget the part were I need money to get back and fourth to work. Also possibly having to take time off of the job because of my health.
  Again as I type this I'm almost in tears. Because like I've said and will continue to say(I hate asking people for help). So, before you assume it's not the case. I've worked since I was 16 years old. Me not being able to contribute to at least having a roof over my head and to pay the few bills I have bothers me badly.

  I haven't had to depend on anyone since before that.To have people throw it back in my face later on. Or to lose friends and family relationships over this is really devastating.

 Currently I have three bills my storage, cellphone, and my credit card bill. I initially started a gofundme to pay for two of them(I'd really be grateful to pay them off for a couple of months). And If my oldest didn't get his paid internship I'd probably would've lost my cellphone access, my things in storage, and would be owing way more than what I do on my credit card bill.

   He's agreed to take care of the cellphone bill. Yet, doesn't like the fact that he's obligated to take on the storage and now the credit card bill as well. So, I'm still compelled to ask for donations to cover just the storage. With help from some people(that I am beyond appreciative for the help they've given us)we've managed to get them paid thus far. I'm not sure how much more help I'll be able to get.I pray people will continue to try and help.

  I'm still asking for help because that's not his responsibility. Although I'm grateful he's able to help were he has/can.Or click on and ad or two on here and maybe make a purchase I'd be able to do it myself.

  With that being said there's people that need less help and there's people that need more. I've seen that in groups and on the news.

 On one of the new stations(local) I saw that there was people that needed help getting elevator fixed. Which I pray to god that they've gotten it fixed. The week prior a man passed away after not being able to get out for  whatever his condition was.

  On Facebook(in the same groups I was complaining about) I'm seeing people needing help with food, light bills,hospital bills, and more. Now I've also seen a few request that were just flat out inconsiderate. I'm going to refrain from explaining in detail. Just know I really wanted to ask;why/how they could even put some of that stuff up/out there?

 I am in no way trying to downplay another persons needs/wants. I just wish they'd be considerate about the things they're asking for.

    Everybody has problems. It's what you do in those times of dire need that makes all of the difference. I'm trying to work my way out of this. Praying and a few tears shed along the way. It'll never be how it was but it will get better. That's for those of you that have problems as well. Continue to pray and push forward!

Monday, July 1, 2019


   There's so many thoughts going through my head. Some good and some bad. I'm unsure of how much more of this I can take. I'm already stressed out because I'm constantly trying to figure out ways to pull myself out of what It is I am going through.

 From me having to stay with other people (three times in 10 months). Not being able to spend time with my kids when I'd like to. Having to depend on other people for money.  Not knowing how I'm going to pay my bills.

 Then to feel like I'm bothering anyone for anything.When I'm not used to it at all. I actually enjoyed having my own place. Making my own money and moving to the beat of my own drum.

   Currently I'm sitting here on the break of tears wishing this would be over already.

 If I get a part time job; Will the employer be willing to except the fact that I may randomly need to take days off? I'm not talking about regular scheduled time of.I'm talking about times were I may have paresthesia (however its spelled), muscle spasms, or even the weakness I get occasionally. Stuff I get randomly with Multiple Sclerosis.

  It really bothers me. When people form opinions about my health. Just because this particular week was a good  one doesn't mean the next one will be.

I wish people would stop just assuming and maybe take a moment to ask: How I'm doing? What my mental health is like? What's on my mind at the moment?

 Stop acting as though I was grateful to not be making the almost $26 an hour I was making. Even though it was part time. I still managed to make enough to get by.

  I hate the fact that I'm subjected to sitting around awaiting a decision from disability. Or to try an get housing,section 8,or Rap. I assumed I wouldn't have had to go back to having to try and live off of those programs.

 It's bad that here in the State of Connecticut there aren't any programs available to help me. No emergency housing, income( the State of Connecticut turned me away for cash because my inexperienced with Multiple Sclerosis Doctor stated I can work 20 hrs. Yet,I got denied my med card for my Cdl. My Cna license expired years ago. And have little experience in other fields. ),or shelters here.

 How/why is there a waiting list for shelters?  Especially for people that have became sick. I've worked since I was 16 years old paid more than enough taxes in the state only to be turned away.

I guess I'm just having a moment right now.

Saturday, June 15, 2019

Not what you expected for me to be

   I didn't ask to be sick and need help. I didn't ask to have a messed up childhood. To have children at a young age and not have support.

  I've been biting my tongue for years. I've always felt like the outsider. Throughout this particular struggle I feel it even more.
 I got an opportunity and I'm still in a messed up position. No money,no stable place to lay my head(need to get to a shelter and can't even afford to get there), got a call back for housing and can't get what I need(misplaced my birth certificate and I need copies made), or get to the place(it's an hour and a half away).
  Things have been difficult for me my whole life. Some people would rather ignore that than to acknowledge it. I'm struggling now because of my health. Not because I do drugs or because I am a drunk(i'm literally broke can't afford neither one). This really hurts to know even throughout my trying i'm still being looked at like i'm not doing enough.

  I struggled to make sure my kids had/have things. With minimal help. I've been having my youngest used against me even to this day. Working since I was 16. At which point my main priority was making sure they had what they needed. Seemed like I was the only one that cared to make sure of that. They actually gave my life meaning.

 There's so much I want to write about. But I'll hurt a whole lot of peoples feelings. When I originally got the idea to start writing I wanted to write about my life. But because of my caring heart I chose not to.

   I've had hungry nights as a child.Heck and nights as an adult were my kids eating was all that mattered. Whore hand me down clothes. Slept in a house with messed up heat and at times no lights.

  I was bullied in my younger years. Fought to try and earn my respect. Got kicked out of school and went threw Juvenile detention. All because I had to go without stuff. Not many people knew about that.

  I'm sure this position isn't one I was destined to be in. Things could have been a lot different. I wonder why they weren't? Even being in this position I'm working on trying to make it better.

 I'm sorry I was not in a position to be get better opportunities. I'm sorry I'm sick and can't get more. I'm sorry I have to depend on other people. I'm sorry that I couldn't have money saved for times like this.

 I wish I could be back to work picking up hours. So I could back to my own little corner ignoring peoples existence. So, I wouldn't have to hear about what I'm doing wrong. Like they've ever been in my position.

With that being said my family still needs help.Please click on the link below and help and share.

Saturday, June 1, 2019

Thing haven’t gotten much better

 Things still haven’t gotten much better. I was able to put in some housing applications.And check up on others.
  Got a part time job offer. That I thought I’d have been able to do. No longer having a car and the hours required for training nipped that in the bud. I’m sad but I guess that position wasn’t for me.
  Yes,I’m still not 100% but the disability claim is  
taking forever.And we need the money. I hope I can find a part time;and they understands I could possibly have a flareup (relapse).
 Yet,I’m hopeful. I got a bit of good news this weekend. And with the help we’ve gotten was able to cover the past months bills. I hope this month will work its way out a little better.We kind of cut it close. 
  My dad came through again.Right on time. And my kids continued to rock it out. Through the trails and tribulations we were blessed.
  We’re currently still in the same positions. Things are slowly moving in a better position.Continue to keep us in your prayers. And maybe help out with our GoFundMe(https://www.gofundme.com/f/1p8w4rxvhc&rcid=r01-156450513723-ee5b0779b317458d&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w)if you can.To those of you that have already you’re appreciated !