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Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts

Friday, August 21, 2020

Re-edited/Reminders

I hate being reminded of things. Recently I've lost primary custody of my youngest son, due to the issue I have going on, like me being hospitalized, losing my job, and awaiting a response from social security.
I'm really hurt about his father being greedy for money and taking me back to court. Especially being that he's made it seem as though our child was in danger, when he went to school every day, doctors appointments were scheduled an attended, he had new/clean clothes on every day. Yes, that was without me having an income or a car.
I can admit us living house to house was not ideal. But he was in no way shape or form in any type of harm. I love all of my children with everything in me. And most times I would go without to make sure they had. He knew that.
Although it did nott matter to him because his only concern was to get assistance from the state of Connecticut. What kind of man actually makes it his business to try and defraud the state when he actually works? And makes really good money doing so. Yes, this has been reported several times to several different departments. The response was they couldn't do anything because he had his own business and couldn't really track his income (interesting, right?
With all of this going on I chose to sit back and ponder my thoughts, rather than open up and speak about them. Being that its easier for me to deal with them that way. Yes, it bothers me that I only see him every other weekend. And that when I do have him, we have to walk on pins and needles (don't want to get into that part), just to not ruffle any feathers.
It's just so much easier for me to handle it that way. When it's brought up, I'm brought to tears. I've cried more than enough tears and would rather avoid them. I hope everyone could understand that!
I'm not trying to be harsh or trying to stop you from feeling a certain way about how I should feel. But me crying and lashing out isn't going to get me far at all. It all stalls the process I have to take a bit more. Stops me from taking the time to send emails to get help, applying for programs that'll help us, or even writing to attempt to try and make some type of living.
Trying to find a job with no experience and really messed up heath issue just isn't working for me. The reminders of things I could be doing would be doing, and right now just can't do is hurting my situation more. It's not you it really is me. I forgive you for bringing it up. I just hope you can do the same for me. Even if you don't understand or care. Just please take a moment and try to keep that in mind.
I just rather not be reminded.
Please take a moment to share this if you've read it. And maybe even comment and follow if you like. I'm trying to get better at this. Thanks, have a good day!

Thursday, April 16, 2020

Getting Closer to the Were I Need to Be

Hello Hello Hello!
  
    It’s been a little while since I’ve typed up a blog. 

When this Covid19 came about, I started having real bad anxiety, which cut into my creativity. Which I know I shouldn’t have allowed; but it happen, and I’m working through it.
   
 I’ve been thinking long and hard about what it was I wanted to come back with.  And thanks to a very good friend of mind I figured it out. 

  And I’d like to first say thank you to him. Yes, him and no he’s not a boyfriend and has never been one. Let me start by clarifying that first. We grew up together and he’s actually one of the few people I can really consider a friend/ family!

 Anyway I’ve applied for disability in October of 2018. I got denied. Then had a reconsideration and got denied for that. And I was finally able to get a hearing. 
 
 Mind you up until a few months ago I had no income. And I’m living off of $219 + food stamps(don’t ask how I’ve been doing it I’m still not sure). If it wasn’t for my family and a few friends(Thank you guys again!)I don’t know how I’d be getting by. I truly thank the man above for them!

 I believe the hearing went well. Although there were moments that I was a little skeptical. I’m hopeful that it’ll turn out for the best. 

 Now I have 30 days to get them paperwork from my therapist. And I pray the final decision won’t take that long after.

  Yes, I see a therapist. I’ve been seeing her for a few months now and she’s the bomb!  I’m not sure I’d have been able to get past these anxiety attacks without her.

  With that being said keep me in your prayers. As I am doing the same for you all!  Hopefully I’ll be back sooner with more content. And thanks again my friend for the push. I appreciate it!

Friday, February 7, 2020

Black History Fact

Hey guys I’m sorry. I know I said I’d touch on a few black history moments . I get in as much as I can . My health hasn’t been that great. This one I think is a good one I hope you enjoy. Today in history February 7,1926.
            -Carter G.Woodson


Click on the link to learn about what Mr.Woodson.



https://www.zinnedproject.org/news/tdih/carter-woodson-black-history-month/