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Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts

Friday, August 21, 2020

Re-edited/Reminders

I hate being reminded of things. Recently I've lost primary custody of my youngest son, due to the issue I have going on, like me being hospitalized, losing my job, and awaiting a response from social security.
I'm really hurt about his father being greedy for money and taking me back to court. Especially being that he's made it seem as though our child was in danger, when he went to school every day, doctors appointments were scheduled an attended, he had new/clean clothes on every day. Yes, that was without me having an income or a car.
I can admit us living house to house was not ideal. But he was in no way shape or form in any type of harm. I love all of my children with everything in me. And most times I would go without to make sure they had. He knew that.
Although it did nott matter to him because his only concern was to get assistance from the state of Connecticut. What kind of man actually makes it his business to try and defraud the state when he actually works? And makes really good money doing so. Yes, this has been reported several times to several different departments. The response was they couldn't do anything because he had his own business and couldn't really track his income (interesting, right?
With all of this going on I chose to sit back and ponder my thoughts, rather than open up and speak about them. Being that its easier for me to deal with them that way. Yes, it bothers me that I only see him every other weekend. And that when I do have him, we have to walk on pins and needles (don't want to get into that part), just to not ruffle any feathers.
It's just so much easier for me to handle it that way. When it's brought up, I'm brought to tears. I've cried more than enough tears and would rather avoid them. I hope everyone could understand that!
I'm not trying to be harsh or trying to stop you from feeling a certain way about how I should feel. But me crying and lashing out isn't going to get me far at all. It all stalls the process I have to take a bit more. Stops me from taking the time to send emails to get help, applying for programs that'll help us, or even writing to attempt to try and make some type of living.
Trying to find a job with no experience and really messed up heath issue just isn't working for me. The reminders of things I could be doing would be doing, and right now just can't do is hurting my situation more. It's not you it really is me. I forgive you for bringing it up. I just hope you can do the same for me. Even if you don't understand or care. Just please take a moment and try to keep that in mind.
I just rather not be reminded.
Please take a moment to share this if you've read it. And maybe even comment and follow if you like. I'm trying to get better at this. Thanks, have a good day!

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

It's Been A Little While


    Writing just hasn’t been one of my priorities. With it being the holiday season  and things not being the same. Some of you may know what’s been going on. And a lot of you don’t.
  
   My multiple Sclerosis has been messing with me. And I am still not working. Which I why I stated things aren’t the same. No money no gifts from me at least.

          If you get a chance look through my past blogs and you’d probably get a better understanding.
 Most recently I’ve developed random weird pains. I could be sitting, standing, or laying down and I’d get sharp pain lasting for a minute or more. That started out in my foot. Then went to my wrists. And last but not least my knees that I already have osteoarthritis in.

With funds being like they have been ; I’m unable to do what I’d like for my kids.

 I guess you could say that has me in my feelings. And I’d just rather not speak or write about it.

   I started typing this about two weeks ago. Thinking I’d get back to it. Only to get on my PC and realize that I didn’t save what I had. So, this is what you guys are going to get from me at the moment.
  The funny part about it is. I was in one of my favorite authors reading groups. Trying to catch up on the latest tea; with that publishing company that I will not name. Only to find out one of the final  books in the serious I have been waiting on; will only be coming out in a hard copy. I use kindle unlimited (it works for my broke pockets).
  Any who I randomly asked if someone would gift me a copy. And aside from a comment from the Author( which was funny but understanding if you keep up); I got a response from another reader gifting me the funds. Which I swear changed my whole mood.

 It got me out of my funk a little and it led me here. Which I’m grateful for . And I hope you all are as well. Well those of you that keep up.

 I appreciate those of you that take the time out to read my blogs. And hope if you have the chance you’d subscribe or follow, shop, and share!

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Back to Surviving Multiple Sclerosis

It's been a little while since I've spoke about my health.

It's not because I didn't want to. I just wasn't sure what I wanted to share.

 And I've also had other things affecting my writing process.

Me still not having an income,depression(yes,I am 

depressed),not having my baby with me, and most recently my 

mom 

and step dad getting into a really bad accident.

By the grace of god they're doing a lot better! 

I'm appreciative of the family members that were able to make sure they were okay!

I'm bothered by this because I am/was unable to do so myself.

My health although it's somewhat stable still has not been back to 

what I'd like for it to be.

Migraines are somewhat normal for me now. Due to me 

having one 

almost everyday.

As well as numbness and tingling.

What I don't miss or wish I could do without all together is the 

tremors.

I got them almost everyday after I was hospitalized the last time.

 So ,me getting them scares me. Although they aren't an everyday thing.

I'm just happy that it's all I have at the moment.

Anything else would have me afraid .

That I'd end up back in the hospital.

The depression comes in from me still not having my own.

My own money, place for my children,and I  .

Definitely unsure how I've been getting but but I have been. 

Which I can actually say I'm actually happy for.

 But thank you to those of you that take the time out to read my blogs.

Eventually I'll be more consistent with them.

Please,take a moment to check out an ad or

 two,shop,follow/subscribe, and share.

Monday, July 1, 2019

Untitled

   There's so many thoughts going through my head. Some good and some bad. I'm unsure of how much more of this I can take. I'm already stressed out because I'm constantly trying to figure out ways to pull myself out of what It is I am going through.


 From me having to stay with other people (three times in 10 months). Not being able to spend time with my kids when I'd like to. Having to depend on other people for money.  Not knowing how I'm going to pay my bills.

 Then to feel like I'm bothering anyone for anything.When I'm not used to it at all. I actually enjoyed having my own place. Making my own money and moving to the beat of my own drum.

   Currently I'm sitting here on the break of tears wishing this would be over already.

 If I get a part time job; Will the employer be willing to except the fact that I may randomly need to take days off? I'm not talking about regular scheduled time of.I'm talking about times were I may have paresthesia (however its spelled), muscle spasms, or even the weakness I get occasionally. Stuff I get randomly with Multiple Sclerosis.

  It really bothers me. When people form opinions about my health. Just because this particular week was a good  one doesn't mean the next one will be.

I wish people would stop just assuming and maybe take a moment to ask: How I'm doing? What my mental health is like? What's on my mind at the moment?


 Stop acting as though I was grateful to not be making the almost $26 an hour I was making. Even though it was part time. I still managed to make enough to get by.

  I hate the fact that I'm subjected to sitting around awaiting a decision from disability. Or to try an get housing,section 8,or Rap. I assumed I wouldn't have had to go back to having to try and live off of those programs.

 It's bad that here in the State of Connecticut there aren't any programs available to help me. No emergency housing, income( the State of Connecticut turned me away for cash because my inexperienced with Multiple Sclerosis Doctor stated I can work 20 hrs. Yet,I got denied my med card for my Cdl. My Cna license expired years ago. And have little experience in other fields. ),or shelters here.


 How/why is there a waiting list for shelters?  Especially for people that have became sick. I've worked since I was 16 years old paid more than enough taxes in the state only to be turned away.

I guess I'm just having a moment right now.



Saturday, June 1, 2019

Thing haven’t gotten much better

 Things still haven’t gotten much better. I was able to put in some housing applications.And check up on others.
  Got a part time job offer. That I thought I’d have been able to do. No longer having a car and the hours required for training nipped that in the bud. I’m sad but I guess that position wasn’t for me.
  Yes,I’m still not 100% but the disability claim is  
taking forever.And we need the money. I hope I can find a part time;and they understands I could possibly have a flareup (relapse).
 Yet,I’m hopeful. I got a bit of good news this weekend. And with the help we’ve gotten was able to cover the past months bills. I hope this month will work its way out a little better.We kind of cut it close. 
  My dad came through again.Right on time. And my kids continued to rock it out. Through the trails and tribulations we were blessed.
  We’re currently still in the same positions. Things are slowly moving in a better position.Continue to keep us in your prayers. And maybe help out with our GoFundMe(https://www.gofundme.com/f/1p8w4rxvhc&rcid=r01-156450513723-ee5b0779b317458d&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w)if you can.To those of you that have already you’re appreciated !