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Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts

Sunday, June 30, 2019

Changes

   Things can change in a matter of minutes. Some for good and some for the bad. I'm speaking up on this from experience. I've experienced so many changes over the past few months.


  From me getting sick (a relapse from multiple sclerosis), losing primary custody of my youngest son, losing my place of residence, losing my job, to me staying with friends and different family members.


  I wouldn't wish any of this on my worst enemies. Although I don't have many. To be honest I don't have any. If I start to feel some type of way I'll just move along. I don't have room in my heart to harbor any hate.


 Me not even acknowledging a person/people, and the things they've done/said to me, is more than enough energy for me to give them.


When things take a turn for the better they'd wish they never did or said whatever.


 I wish things were different. I'm working towards making it better. Not sure how fast the changes  will come. Just know I'm working on it!


While continuing to remember god won't put more on me than I can handle. I'm praying along the way.

  I'm praying for a better living situation(I'm partly there) although It's  not my own yet. I'm praying for a part time job. I'm praying for my health to stay on the right path. As well as for the perfect health and safety for my kids, my family, and my friends. I'm also praying for the help I need to keep the things we do own that are in storage.


That right now is one of my main priorities.So,once we do get a place of our own we won't have to try and get more things!

Please support and share


What are some things that you pray for?

Saturday, June 15, 2019

Not what you expected for me to be

   I didn't ask to be sick and need help. I didn't ask to have a messed up childhood. To have children at a young age and not have support.

  I've been biting my tongue for years. I've always felt like the outsider. Throughout this particular struggle I feel it even more.
 
 I got an opportunity and I'm still in a messed up position. No money,no stable place to lay my head(need to get to a shelter and can't even afford to get there), got a call back for housing and can't get what I need(misplaced my birth certificate and I need copies made), or get to the place(it's an hour and a half away).
 
  Things have been difficult for me my whole life. Some people would rather ignore that than to acknowledge it. I'm struggling now because of my health. Not because I do drugs or because I am a drunk(i'm literally broke can't afford neither one). This really hurts to know even throughout my trying i'm still being looked at like i'm not doing enough.

  I struggled to make sure my kids had/have things. With minimal help. I've been having my youngest used against me even to this day. Working since I was 16. At which point my main priority was making sure they had what they needed. Seemed like I was the only one that cared to make sure of that. They actually gave my life meaning.

 There's so much I want to write about. But I'll hurt a whole lot of peoples feelings. When I originally got the idea to start writing I wanted to write about my life. But because of my caring heart I chose not to.

   I've had hungry nights as a child.Heck and nights as an adult were my kids eating was all that mattered. Whore hand me down clothes. Slept in a house with messed up heat and at times no lights.

  I was bullied in my younger years. Fought to try and earn my respect. Got kicked out of school and went threw Juvenile detention. All because I had to go without stuff. Not many people knew about that.

  I'm sure this position isn't one I was destined to be in. Things could have been a lot different. I wonder why they weren't? Even being in this position I'm working on trying to make it better.


 I'm sorry I was not in a position to be get better opportunities. I'm sorry I'm sick and can't get more. I'm sorry I have to depend on other people. I'm sorry that I couldn't have money saved for times like this.

 I wish I could be back to work picking up hours. So I could back to my own little corner ignoring peoples existence. So, I wouldn't have to hear about what I'm doing wrong. Like they've ever been in my position.

With that being said my family still needs help.Please click on the link below and help and share.